The Pure Bed is to be a resource for ALL married men and women.  As a matter of course, however, the site is a reflection of our faith in God and our understanding of His will for intimacy in the context of marriage.  What follows is a basic description of our beliefs with respect to that will. 

We believe that God instituted marriage as a mechanism to reproduce and nurture life and to afford humanity a higher order of relationship that would be substantially representative of our relationship with Him. Marriage is the intimate union of two into oneness (one man and one woman for one lifetime).  Marriage is the means by which family is created and nurtured.

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24) is the understanding Adam has of God’s purpose for this new relationship he’s entered. This union is expressed uniquely during sexual intercourse when two bodies are joined together. The relationship is based on closeness…intimacy.

Tested by the ages, the family is the cornerstone of any sustained society.  When God's order is replaced, we experience a breakdown of society. God’s order is perfect, tested by time.  How can something perfect be made better? Adultery, divorce, promiscuity, and the breaking up of families all lead to unhappiness and are, often, the result of a discounting of the importance of marriage today.

If we accept the importance of marriage to the family structure, it stands that we must not ignore issues as they arise or lightly abandon marital relationships. We must also acknowledge that marriage IS NOT a primary means of happiness. Fulfillment in marriage is made possible by a realization of why marriage exists, a commitment to building strong relationships within the family, and recognition that personal spiritual, mental, and, even physical development are critical.

God instituted marriage as a mechanism to reproduce and nurture life and to afford humanity a higher order of relationship that would be somewhat representative of our relationship to Him.  Is everyone to be married?  No.  However, we believe that everyone who is to experience the blessings and benefits of family MUST be married to observe the best purposes of God, to afford the family unit optimal success.  We believe that marriage is the only appropriate context for sexual intimacy in God's sight.

Some Bible references:

 

Read Gen. 2:18-24, Matthew 19:4-6, Eph 5:31-6:3. How and why God created marriage.

Read I Corinthians 13, and Titus 2:1-8. Nurturing family.

Read Song of Solomon (entire Bible book) and I Corinthians 7:1-9. Intimacy.

 

 

A Young Wife in Crisis: Faith, Love and Sex!
We recently had opportunity to correspond with a young woman who, married for a little over 2 years, had determined she really hadn't married for love and couldn't stand the thought of making love to her husband. She was pregnant before they married and determined marriage was the best thing at the time. Moreover, she recently became a Christian and was feeling conflicted about the whole situation. her husband, while a decent man, has no interest in becoming a Christian or participating in related activities (attending church, watching religious programming, reading the Bible, etc.). She is miserable but can't stand the thought of leaving her husband and subjecting her toddler to a 'broken home'. She does not yet have a church she's joined and is resistant to the idea of sharing her situation with a stranger (pastor, counselor). She, of course, shared with us because written communication allows anonymity.

What should she do?
 
It seems she has two distinct issues: 1.) She and her husband are now unequally yoked and 2.) her marriage is loveless. The two are separate and distinct.

In the first case, being unequally yoked is the KJV Bible phrase for when one spouse loves and serves the Lord and the other does not. Because she accepted Christ during the course of an existing marriage, she is immediately presented with a situation that has her taking a different life path from her husband. Many women have faced this, been fervent in their prayers, loving and reaped husbands who eventually surrendered to Christ and became strong men of Christian faith. This can happen for her too. Prayer is critical and priority. However, prayer needs to have some 'shoes' often to be most effective. No excuses. She must find and join a church where her faith can be developed, informed and rooted in God's word. Iron sharpens iron! She needs the support that comes from a community of faith.

Eventually, there would be benefit from consulting someone properly trained to help her work through her marriage's issues in the context of her faith.

In the second case of a loveless marriage, we offered her the highest hope. God can restore to her a great love for her husband. We must always remember that God is love. We didn't complicate things by going into how God feels about divorce. We sensed she instinctively knows that God prefers homes to be kept together. Neither did we leave her with the impression that she was 'stuck' in a loveless marriage. God is bigger than that!

What we did communicate was that God's love is always a choice. God loved the world (by His choice) and so he gave the great gift of Jesus to rescue the world He so loved. (John 3:16, Romans 5:8) All pure love (even romantic or erotic) springs from God's unconditional (agape) love. So it would appear that she has the option to choose to pursue God's love and, from that, a love that will draw her heart toward her husband's. Simultaneously, she will learn how to be a spiritually and emotionally strong Godly wife whose behaviors and living become a living epistle (example of God's will) to her unsaved husband. In other words, God's love through her might draw him.  

Please consider the above if you are or someone you know is in a similar life circumstance.  Marriage isn't ther proper tool for personal evangelism.  We should enter marraige spiritually, emotionally and mentally compatible.  However, what this young wife is experiencing is an opportunity to live a great life of great love...by the power of a great God.  Love powered by God yields good results (Romans 8:28).

Please contact us at info@thepurebed.com for questions or comments about this article or issues related to marriage and sex.

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